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Dear Molly, My boyfriend gets frustrated …

11 March 2020

Hi! So lately (in the past 3 months) my boyfriend has been getting really frustrated with me when we don’t have sex and I’m on my period. He’s been really stressed at work and I know that sex is a good way for him to decompress, but I don’t like to have sex when I’m on my period. I’ve tried to explain, but he doesn’t understand why it’s uncomfortable for me. Basically I’m looking for how can I explain this to him and how can I still support him when I’m on my period. Thank you!

 

Get a new boyfriend.

This guy doesn’t respect you and how you’re feeling. He wants to decompress? Go for a run. He “needs” to get off? Masturbate.

Sex with you is not a medication for his mental health and you don’t owe him that at all. Supporting him and subjecting yourself to his “needs” are two different things. Especially if you have said “No, this is uncomfortable for me” and he’s still pushing for it or throwing a temper tantrum? BYE. He is not worth your energy. Sex is fun, sex is a way to connect and play, but sex is not a need. You can go your whole life without it. It’s not a need, it’s a desire. And desires don’t come before needs.

I’ve had times in my life where my mental health and physical health made me completely uninterested in sex for six straight months. Do you know what my boyfriend did? SUPPORTED ME. He put me first because my need to have my feelings validated and supported outweighed his desire for a sexual release. A good partner will do that and it sounds like your boyfriend is doing the exact opposite. He’s making you feel guilty and that is bullshit.

On to the next, my love. He is not worth your time.

 

xx,

M

 

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