Dear Molly, I Agreed to a Date I Don’t Want to Go On.

I don’t know why I said yes, but I did and now I have a date scheduled for next week and I don’t want to go on it. How do I let him down easy?


Things like this happen in the dating world. They happen a lot. Saying “no” in the moment isn’t a skill we all have (but it is one we should all develop) and that can lead to regret later on. I promise that this redaction will only be as big and bad as you make it.


How to do it…

Most people would say that in person is best, over the phone is better. But if the two of you met for a second and have only exchanged a few texts you can definitely do this over text. This isn’t a relationship you are ending, this is just a plan you are canceling.


What to say…

Keep it short and sweet and honest. If it isn’t a hurtful reason you can say exactly why you changed your mind. If it’s a situation where you felt pressured to give out your number or something like that and changed your mind you can say that too! Just keep it honest and easy.

You don’t own him an essay on all the reasons you’ve changed your mind. But you do own him the respect of canceling at least a day in advance (if possible). Keep it as simple as “Hi, I’ve been thinking about it and I’m going to need to cancel our date on Friday. I hope you have a great weekend.” If you want you can also include a line with the reason, like “I just feel that you’re a little too young for me” or whatever that reason may be, but you do not have to.


And then move on and start practicing how to say “no” in the moment.




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