Okay girl, here’s the deal. I really like this guy. And when he pops up he is EVERYTHING I want. He’s funny and clever and incredibly smart. The issue is that he doesn’t pop up too often and when he does we talk for a little bit and then end up sexting. I don’t mind, because I want to, but I’d also like to have regular conversations or see him in person more. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong and what I can do right. (I’ll be honest, I’m also freaking out that he might have a girlfriend).
I hate to say it, babe, but you are being played. He figured out the steps to make you feel secure and he’s using that to get what he wants.
When you say “He doesn’t pop up too often and when he does we talk for a little bit and then end up sexting.” I hear “He texts me when he wants to get off”. Red flag. Cut him off. Cut him out.
You are not a vending machine that he gets to put affection and attention into when he wants a nude. He does not get to purchase your intimacy with a carefully worded joke.
Listen to yourself. You feel out of control (“I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong”), you don’t feel secure (“I’m also freaking out that he might have a girlfriend”), and you deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone who will treat you like a friend, someone that wants to be there for you. You are infinitely more than this situation that is undermining your personal power.
I don’t have a long post for this one, because I think it’s very cut and dry. If you want to try and have a conversation with him about it or spend more time one on one than you are welcome to go for it, but if I were in your shoes I would walk away.
Whatever you decide to do, I’m in your corner!