dear molly: column personal power

I’m Searching for Confidence

I’ve been really interested in starting an Instagram page for my photography, but I’m not sure where to start. Every time I start posting my photos I get really self-conscious and end up deleting all of them. I tried starting a new account, but am still struggling with what all my friends and family will think. I’m not trying to get famous or something, I just wanted to share what I’m doing and try to build my photography into a business. How do I stop caring about what other people think?

 

Starting something new is always difficult, no one likes to be a beginner. Starting something new on social media is worse because there is a massive feeling that everyone is watching you like a bug under a microscope. And worse than watching, it’s easy to fear that people are judging. And maybe they are, but the vast majority of people around you will be supportive as you venture into something new. If they aren’t then they aren’t people to surround yourself with. You are the sum of the people you spend most of your time with if those people aren’t making you feel supported it’s time to reevaluate that list.

But I’m not here to judge your friend group, I’m here to build you up. In my first year of the blog, I received just about every opinion you can imagine. People thought it was great, thought I was vapid, thought it was a phase, thought I didn’t know what I was doing (I didn’t). The confidence to keep going through it wasn’t easy to find, but I largely credit it with the confidence the runs throughout my life today.

When I started the blog I did so because I knew it was a bucket list item for me and I didn’t want to look back at 60 and wonder why I never started it. Putting off your goals because of what someone else thinks is not the way to live life. It’s a way to get through it. Life is meant to be aggressively lived, and that means ignoring the judgments by others and going for what makes you happy and what you want. I made a deal with myself, buy a domain name for three years and give myself that amount of time to build and build passionately. Every time someone sent me hate or rolled their eyes when I mentioned the blog I didn’t let myself retreat in shame, I remembered the deal I made with myself, held my head up, and continued on. Every time I did that was laying, brick by brick, the foundation of self-confidence I now have with the blog. Do that and every time you see reward you will know it’s because you were true to yourself and every time you experience failure you will be able to stare at it even-eyed knowing that you failed being honest with yourself.

The community I’ve built on with Molly and through Instagram are both incredibly important to me, but the person that is most important to me is me. Be selfish in your self-love and selfish in your goals. No one can champion harder for you than you. When someone comes at you with hate vise-grip your goal, grit your teeth, and walk away. Don’t delete your posts, don’t delete your passion.

 

xx

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